JoJo starts off the vlog at Magic Kingdom, where he states that he just witnessed a family visiting the park for the very first time and an adult man tearing up upon entering. This causes him to reflect on what visiting Disney World is like for other people. “I think as a content creator, as someone who consumes Disney media, it’s very easy to forget how awesome this place is and how the fact that not everyone has the opportunity to come here every day,” JoJo observes. He adds, “It was definitely a humbling experience to witness like, just someone being happy just to be here, you know, for their first time.”
JoJo then goes into the purpose of the vlog – to experience and countdown the three fastest rides at Walt Disney World. He walks through the park and jokingly cites the Country Bear Jamboree as the fastest Magic Kingdom ride. He also mentions that it will be closing for major changes on January 26th. While in the neighborhood, JoJo also talks about the ongoing construction on the Tiana’s Bayou Adventure attraction as he admires all its installed greenery. Over in Liberty Square, he mentions that Haunted Mansion is one of the slowest rides because of frequent stops to let disabled guests on and off.
Moving on to Fantasyland, JoJo pesters Peter Pan again, this time asking him how fast he can fly. “I can fly pretty fast, fast enough to outwit that old codfish, Captain Hook,” Peter cheekily responds. When Peter suggests that JoJo could join the Lost Boys, JoJo say, “I would love that. I don’t want to grow up anyway.” Apparently knowing JoJo, Peter accurately replies, “We’ve been doing a good job not growing up so far.”
JoJo next makes his routine attempt to pull the Sword in the Stone, and he fails again. He claims though that’s he’s over it. However, he states that there’s a large fan base of people who consume that content. That’s probably the driver more than anything else for why he keeps the shtick going.
When JoJo gets to Tomorrowland, he notes with surprise that Space Mountain only reaches 27mph, ranking just 11th amongst Disney World rides for speed. For the 3rd fastest ride at Disney World at 59mph, JoJo instead announces that it’s Tron Lightcycle Run. Before getting in the Lightning Lane to ride it, JoJo remarks that the one in Shanghai is “so much cooler, like everything just glows more.” After the ride, he says it felt faster than 59mph.
At this point, JoJo does a plug for his Patreon account. As noted previously, he wants a steady stream of other income so that he can do even less work than he does today with his YouTube channel. He admits that he’d like to only do one “mega” vlog a week. About this dream of making hundreds of dollars a month for mostly posting a few video clips most days on Patreon, JoJo says, “It’s my dream and dreams come true in Magic Kingdom, so uh, like this video and check out my Patreon.”
Another topic JoJo brings up is his travel plans, specifically being on the maiden voyage of Royal Caribbean’s Icon of the Seas, the world’s largest cruise ship. He teases that a mystery guest will sail with him.
Leaving Magic Kingdom, JoJo goes to Epcot for the next fastest attraction. There he states that it’s Guardians of the Galaxy, at 60 mph. However, for JoJo, his day slows down when he learns that the ride is currently down. He had hoped to get through all the rides quickly and then go to Taco Bell to eat. Since he has to wait for Guardians to reopen, he instead eats at Katsura Grill inside the Japan pavilion, which he calls his favorite spot to be in World Showcase. There cast members from Japan recognize the wooly ears cap he’s wearing that’s only available in the Asian parks and JoJo talks to them about how much he enjoyed Tokyo Disneyland and Tokyo DisneySea.
Killing more time, JoJo watches a Disney on Broadway performance at the America Gardens Theatre. After that, he unhappily rides Journey Into Imagination With Figment.
Finally, Guardians of the Galaxy reopens. JoJo gets the front of the ride vehicle and it takes off. The song for this run is Disco Inferno and like he usually does, JoJo obnoxiously sings loudly over the music to avoid copyright strike. He does this because he’s too lazy to overlay the audio when he’s editing his vlog. He just doesn’t care that other guests have to listen to him when they are trying to enjoy an attraction, as he only thinks about himself and how to minimize the effort of working for a living.
Leaving Guardians, it’s a short walk to the number one fastest ride at Walt Disney World, Test Track at 65 mph. JoJo finishes that without difficulty and then talks about how the fastest three rides felt to him.
“All the rides felt fast, way quicker than their actual speed. I feel like Tron was definitely not 59. I feel like Guardians of the Galaxy was definitely not 60. All these feel like the 70s and 80s. I guess the closest one that’s accurate is Test Track, which is weird because Test Track in my mind felt the slowest, or maybe because we actually have a speedometer, you can actually like just mentally put two and two together. But again, Tron and Guardians of the Galaxy, it’s kind of crazy that they’re slower than Test Track, cause test track feels the slowest.”
JoJo finishes the vlog with a long walk to his car, as he remarks how much his legs hurt and how he feels he’s been walking for ages that day.
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